Three men of different race and religion are on a plane; they enjoy their flight, and two of them have a good meal with no pork. Thirty years later, two of the men share the same flight, but failed to even recognize each other on the first.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When life gives you lemons make lemonade, when life gives you apples make apple juice, when life gives you cranberries make cranberrie juice and then when live gives you mangos, Eat them :)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you keep a secret? Kill yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the mother get at the grocery store? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the veterinarian say to the dog? Ohhh who is a good dog? You are!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

thumb_up thumb_down -8

det va en tjej som va inne på ica och handlade, framme vid kassan la hon fram en banan, en billys pizza, ett litet paket bröd och en mjölk. -är du singel eller? frågar killen i kassan -ja hur visste du det, svarar hon -du e skitful ju

thumb_up thumb_down -8

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are violets red is blue i like lizards they have fur

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Polity ask him to stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, he was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Do you know mirror has 6 letters and half of then are r's?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

You have been brought down to hell where you are welcomed by satan. "Welcome to hell, where you watch your loved ones get tortured for all eternity" Satan said "Where is everyone? " you ask "Hmmm, I guess you were never really loved"He replied

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Why did the prostitute have no arms? A: Because she was an amputee.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Mum: Never put off for tomorrow what can be done today. Child: Oh, I was going to play video games tomorrow, so...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the guy with alzheimer's say to his wife? He can't remember.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whose better then Sarah, Georgia and ellie NO ONE!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you like your eggs in the morning? -Poached or Fertilised?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A Mime travels to Africa for a vacation. He meets a Zebra in his travels and the Zebra says "Hey we both are wearing black and white stripes!" The Mime did not understand the Zebra because he cannot talk his language so he continues on with his vacation.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops