Hey I just meet you And this is crazy I took bath salts Your face looks tasty

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Why do guys like Halloween? Martin Luther posted the 95 theses in 1517 on this day.

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A black man and a mexican jump from a tree. Who hits the ground first? The mexican. The black man had a rope tied around his neck.

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Paul howley can't drive, phahahaha

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What's black and white and red allover and can't fit through the door? A nun with a spear through her neck

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Why cant penguins fly? because they cant

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whats the difference between a white kid a nd a puerto rican kid? one smells fine and the other one smells like he walked out of a butcher shop that sells cigars and cheap prostitutes

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

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Cashier: Have a nice day sir! Grumpy man: Don't tell me what kind of day to have ya fruit!

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what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

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What happened to all of the happy birds flying over the field? They were all suddenly stricken by the bird flu and died.

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Women's rights.

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Why did the potato commit suicide? Forget that. Why was the potato alive in the first place?

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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Two guys are walking down the street. One asks the other "Nice weather today, huh?" And the other responds "It sure is," and they both continue on with their days.

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Why did the man cross the road? To attend his wife's funeral.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz "Somebody left the gate open"

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Do you know what's not right? Left.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a tree? Nailing1 baby to 10 trees

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What did Liberia say to Texas? Tag, you're it!

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

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Once upon a time, I was a Muslim.

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Why did the black man wear a coat, shirt, pants, and underwear on a rainy day? Because he didn't want to be naked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops