A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

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Why did the house burn down? Because I set it on fire.

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Who has killed more people than Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, and Jack Kevorkian combined? Mr. Rogers

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Why was the little boy late to church? He was getting raped by the priest. ....the priest was late too.

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Whats the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.

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What is the difference between a mustache, and a pile of dead babies? Mustaches disgust me.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come home from camp.

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Set an alarm for an appropriate time

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis

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Ask if I'm a aardvark. Are you a aardvark? Yes.

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Cashier: Have a nice day sir! Grumpy man: Don't tell me what kind of day to have ya fruit!

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What did Taylor say to the other Taylor? Hi, my name is Taylor

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What is worse than spending time with in-laws? Nothing.

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How do you scare a blonde woman? Tie her up and mutilate her family while she watches.

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Why doesn't Michael J. Fox drive a stick shift? He was raised in an urban area and was only taught to maneuver with vehicles that shifted automatically.

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Your social life

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Hello

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What kind of coins to you find at the bottom of the ocean? Wet coins.

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What's worse than banning guns? Very few things

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Women's rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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