how many blonds does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one, because she is an intelligent and capable woman

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please ignore the bottom two 'jokes' as they were written by josh carey and ryan danielz

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Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he had a malignant tumor on his liver.

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Your mama's so fat that she killed herself because she was so depressed about her weight.

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Pokemon go: Team mystic

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When Josh moran was born he was thrown up in the air three times and was caught twice.

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what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

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You know what you can do with your offer to 'help'? Await another opportunity please I appreciate it much.

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whats fluffy and pink? -pink fluff whats blue and fluffy? -pink fluff holding its breath.

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You know what sucks? Yes.

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Why should you be concerned when you see a mexican riding a bike? because he probably wasnt wearing a helmet

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What did the hammer say to the drill? Nothing, they don't talk stupid.

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Trolololollolololololololololololololol

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What was the comment at the bottom of this anti joke? come up with a better anti joke

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Dubstep < Music

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What did the german get for christmas? an Easy-Bake oven and a G.I. Jew

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Why do women why perfume and make up? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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A man is driving down a back country road in an old beat up car going 30 mph when he notices a black horse and a white horse keeping pace with him. They keep up with him for a few miles before passing him and turning into a farm on the road. The man is quite impressed with the horses speed and follows them to the farmer and offers the farmer living there the horses in exchange for the car. The farmer says the horses are bad luck but accepts the trade, and the man walks off with the horses. The man then enters the horses in a big horse race and puts a lot of money on them. The horses immediately take the lead and are about to finish the race when the black horse trips and the white horse goes back to pick him up and end up losing. The man is furious and returns the horses to the farmer and gets his car back. The next day another man is driving in a nicer car down the same road going 50 mph when the black horse and the white horse run right past his car. Impressed with the horses speed the man trades his car to the farmer who warns him about the horses. Ignoring the farmer's warning the man enters the horses in a new race. The horses once again take the lead and are close to finishing first and second when the black horse trips and the white horse goes and picks him up again once again losing their lead. The man angrily returns the horses in exchange for his car. The next day a third man drives down the same road in a brand new sports car. While he's testing the limits of the car the horses catch up to him and run with him. Surprised by the speed of the horses the man speeds up in his car but the horses manage to keep up. The horses eventually run past the man and turn into their farm, and the man looks down and realizes that the horses had been running faster than 120 mph. The man goes to the farmer and offers his car in exchange for the horses. The farmer accepts but gives the man the same warning he gave the two men earlier. The new man just like the other two men ignores the warning and enters the horses into a race and bets a lot of money on them. This time the horse take the lead out of the gate but feet from the finish line the white horse trips and falls. The black horse seeing this goes back and helps him up once again losing the race. The man is disgusted and releases the horses into the city in hopes that they'll die out there. The two horses are wander into a bar, and the bartender looks at them and says: "hey you two why the long face?"

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How do you make a mimer to speak? Shot him in both knees and cut of he's ear

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms Why did Susie drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere Knock Knock "Whos There?" Not Susie

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Knock Knock Who's There?? Its the police your family have died in a tragic road accident

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Dogs

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If a woman was born in China, raised in France and got married and died in New Orleans, what is she? Dead.

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Q /why do people eat dinner? A/ because their hungry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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