What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse

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How do you make someone think your wierd? Pretend to be a panda.

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There was once a boy named Swan, But then they built Autobahn.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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what is the awesomest of them all? me

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What's funny? At the exact moment you read this, someone is suffering from domestic abuse.

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Why did the crack head cross the road? To get crack.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. He values his privacy and will not tell me his motives.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a cucumber

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What is worse than a bunch of babies stapled to a tree? A bunch of trees stapled to a baby.

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How did the magician make it look like there are 2 books on the table? By putting 2 books on the table

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What goes up and does not come down? Why the hell ask me.

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What's the difference between 6 and 7? 1.

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Me: Ask me if im a penguin friend: are you a penguin? me: no.

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Q: What did the alcoholic get for his Birthday?\ A: A Jail Sentence

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Q. What do you get when a banana and a person mate? A. The banana suffocates

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Why did the black kid fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome

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Why couldn't Bethany drive? She was 14.

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How could you ever watch a man hit another man and say nothing? UFC is on at 9:00pm.

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Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

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How many one does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What's the difference between a live baby and a dead baby? A dead baby doesn't cry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops