Knock,knock whose there? The pizza delivery guy the pizza delivery guy who the pizza delivery guy who didnt give you your pizza

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Deadly cancer.

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Wanna hear a joke? Joe Jonas.

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How do you make a doctor cry? Kill his family.

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How did jimmy get hurt?? someone throw a fridge at him..

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Whats yellow pink and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? Oh were you expecting an answer here, if i knew the answer i wouldn't have asked a question.

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Why was the man called Big Larry? His name was Larry and he was morbidly obese.

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how many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb just 2 but it beats me how they got in there

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Roses are red Violets are blue I picked them in the meadow this morning

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I dont know, are you a tomato?

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How do you stop an alcoholic from drinking ? You leave him in the desert for 4 days, eventually he'll die from dehydration .

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What happened when Chuck Norris tried to divide by zero? He found that he was not very good at math, and moved on to another joke concerning himself.

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How do you spell eight? 8

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knock knock who's there Alec Baldwin I just raped your children ..........

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Why didn't little billy have any friends? Billy bought a rifle, and shot everyone he had ever seen or talked to, even his family. Billy then tripped on his walk home and fell off a bridge, and into the ocean. Then a shark came and swallowed him. That is why you should never kill your friends and family because it will come back and bite you. Don't be like billy

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H2O." The second one then says "I'll have some H2O too." Both chemists live as no bartender is irresponsible enough to serve liquid hydrogen peroxide in a public bar.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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There once was a man from Peru, who dreamed he swallowed his shoe. But it turns out his dream was real, and he died because he could not digest a whole shoe.

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Who was the first person Steven Hawking runs up to when he finds out something new about science? He is in a wheelchair due to a condition called ASL, therefore he cannot "run"

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Remember when the whole country was sad because Marget Thatcher died? No, me neither.

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Q: How many years does it take for a deer to grow into a moose? A: 7

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Your mother is so stupid, she is unable to uphold a steady job and cannot support you financially.

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Mary had a little lamb... that's what she gets for having intercourse with the farm animals.

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3 men check in to a motel. They all decide to leave given the eminent danger of being the butt of a homosexual joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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