- Mom, you've got a banana in your ear. - Son I can't hear you I've got a banana in my ear!

a man walks into a prostitute.

Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

Is this the krusty krab? No, this is Patrick

Whats big brown and sticky A sappy oak tree

pickle juice?

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

why is santa so jolly? hes not hes a fictional character made up by our parents imagination

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink from the bartender. The bartender gets it for him and says "Here you go." The man then says "Thank you." The man then starts to drink his drink, and appreciates the fine quality of the drink. Afterwards, he finishes the drink, and decides to leave the bar and go home.

Roses are red Violets are blue Little Tommie is dead In a body bag Going to the dumpster Behind my house

yo mama is so dumb she went to dr. dre for a pepsmear

How do you get a dog off of your roof? Shoot it.

Two gorillas swing into a bar and are promptly escorted out because the gorillas are alcoholics.

Why did hitler commit suicide He looked at his gas bill

who's best is friend is really good looking? James Cornish

what is the difference between coke and pepsi? -they are competing soft drinks made by different brands

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

Why couldn't the old man read the street sign? Because there were no words. Just an arrow designating a trun up ahead.

What's larger than a grandmother clock? Plenty of things.

What happened when john pelted susie with a rock? she had a temporary concusion, needed eight stitches and John was grounded

Gay's rights

What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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