An apple a day keeps the doctor away. What about the vampires?

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What did the sting ray say to steve irwin? It doesn't matter , steve irwin is dead, dead as a doormat.

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

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What did Helen Keller see on her trip? Nothing

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Why did the blond laugh at work? Because she farted. It was rather uncomfortable for everyone involved.

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Q. What did the blak guy say to the other black guy? A. Hey.

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What did Don King do with his new boxers? Put them on with a respectable pair of trousers.

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A man sees a clown, a robot, and a monkey walking down the street side by side. The man ponders the randomness of life.

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Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

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How do you survive the plague? you dont.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daises are red, holy crap my garden is on fire.

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Q:What did the ginger get for Christmas? A: A soul...jk,hair dye

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Who has killed more people than Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, and Jack Kevorkian combined? Mr. Rogers

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That's not what she said.

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What's worse than stepping on chewing gum A clown throwing bricks at orphans

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whats funnier than hugos penis? Nothing!!!!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller see or hear? She was blind and deaf.

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What did the carrot say when it was thrown out of an airplane? Nothing. It's a carrot.

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Ask me if I am a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees - have nothing at all in common.

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Whats the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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I took a dump in a well don't ask me i'll never tell i look to u as it fell and now its in the well Hey,i just took a dump and it smells like crazy so here's my number so call the plumber Call the plumber

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What kind of coins to you find at the bottom of the ocean? Wet coins.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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