Q. How many lemons does one person take to fill a ladder? A. Fish

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Q) what's black and white and red all over? A) a slaughtered zebra.

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How do you starve a blonde? You tie them up and deprive them of any food.

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How did the black man get put in jail? He didn't, he never did anything illegal

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How do you confuse a blond? Begin talking to her about a subject that's not in her field of expertise using complicated technical verbiage and jargon.

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Where did Sally go when she exploded? Everywhere!

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Nick!" Because he knows him and is not racist.

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Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

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Why did the farmer go to the market? Because his butt was on fire!

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Why did Jimmy's sexy teacher ask him to stay behind after class? His grades have been slipping and she expects better from her students. How anyone views her sexually is of no relevance to this situation.

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Trolololollolololololololololololololol

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Why did the man name his boy "Sue?" He had bad eyesight and thought it was a girl.

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You.

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.... Take my wife..... .... She is lovely....

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Knock knock Who's there Santa who santa hates you and that is why you got nothing for Christmastime

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Why do women why perfume and make up? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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Why is a jewish man so tall? Genetics

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, And I'm color blind, So I don't give a shit

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What is Abraham Lincoln's favorite website? Wikipedia. It's very informative. On second thought though, the Internet had not been invented yet back in his time.

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Pickup line: Boy: Hey, do you have a library card? Girl: Yes

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a child logs on to anti-joke.com and proceeds to post dead baby jokes and jokes with punchlines that suit the build up. i am bitterly disappointed as are all the other fans of anti-joke.com who understand the humor of anti jokes

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What's worse than finding a small cockroach in your drink? Finding a medium sized cockroach in your drink. What's worse than finding a medium sized cockroach in your drink? Genocide. What's worse than genocide? Finding a large sized cockroach in your drink.

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How do you get a clown off a swing Hit it with an axe.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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