Doctor: Knock knock... Patient: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor... Patient: Interrupting doct-- Doctor: You have cancer.

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Brooklyn Nets or New Jersey Nets? Theres a difference

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What did the dog say to the cat before they fought? Lets fight

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a man walks into a prostitute.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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So a horse walks into a bar, animal service is called and after being unable to locate the owner he is put down.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? John Simons. This joke lacks a punchline. Yes, yes it does.

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What did the Asian bookkeeper say to the Jewish dog? I love you

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Sorry not thinking here, of course I will arrive sooner, give me 20 minutes or so (got to scout the area, you never know) As for coding, there is no hidden meaning so yeah... That is probably some "Neronist" coding format I never knew of I am using so well. Cant drive like this, so I will use a cab and wait for you at the back seat or something, I will let the Taxi cab honk the numbers of code here so you can come out knowing its safe. I sincerely thought you where at the home, according to our coordinates you are... Dont tell me that bastard built some basement over there, wow! I really miss him now, if nothing else because I would have liked a wine cellar made in less than... Sorry, ill be there asap, 20 minutes or less, nah, believe me, "fancy" is the least of things I want, and I wont be changing my mind anytime soon. See ya. I am sincerely surprised you even remember me, then again I look a lot like your crush. Abel (in case you where wondering, this is not my name either, but you get the picture by now)

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What's worse then ten dead babies in a garbage can? Being the one who found them.

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whats better than an anti joke? a joke that you find funyer than an anti joke

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How many hearts does a jellyfish have? None.

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So this guy comes into a bar... Jizz eveywhere.

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knock knock, whos there? your neighbor's cat..no not really, but your sister just got raped

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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How do you kill half of Mexico? You use nuclear weapons in major cities.

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What do you call a person who is 6 feet under? Lost.

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A straight black man walks into a gay bar.

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What white and black and red all over? The wife who refused to report that her husband abused her.

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keep your eye off me if you dont look at me, how do you know i looked at you? there is a mirror

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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Wy was the lamp crying, because his mother turned into mashed potatoes.

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Roses are gray. Violets are gray. I am a dog.

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- Mom, you've got a banana in your ear. - Son I can't hear you I've got a banana in my ear!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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