A dog walks into a bar. the bar tender asks" what'll you have?" the dog does not reply because dogs have not yet developed the type of voice box required to speak or the learning cappacity to be taught the English language.

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Yo mama is so fat, she eats three times the normal amount of calories one should eat in a single day. This resulted in her early demise, to which you mourned for numerous months before accepting the fact that she was gone.

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Society has given up on chairs that spin.

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What does an eagle and a worm have in common? They both live in the ground. Except the eagle.

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An irishman walks into a bar and orders a beer.

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What is worse then a worm in your apple? 2 worms in your apple.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? A robber who will most likely kill you along with anyone else who will ruin their chances of becoming more wealthy off your most prized possessions.

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I don't do cocaine I just like the smell

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So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

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What did the man do when he was tired Nothing he went to bed

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What did the man say to his wife right before they got married? "I do."

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Do you want to hear a good knock knock joke? Okay, you start.

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What was so special about Anne Frank's diary? Nothing. ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Roses are red Violets are blue I rather sleep in the class Like a boss in the school -HairyBoss

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the ocean? Dead.

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What did the sign say at Disney World? Disney World.

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What clicks when its out of lead ? A gun Why was the little black boy crying ? He ran out of that grape drank How do you make a dead baby float ? You take your foot of its head How do you know when your life is over ? When you start watching Twilight What is blue and sticky ? Blue Stick What do you get when you mix a dog and a cat ? Shit

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What happened to your face? I walked into a tree

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What's worse than a rainy day? Dropping the soap

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Q. Why did the girl with no legs fall off her bike? A. Somebody threw a refrigerator at her.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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How many people does it take to drive a car? 1 person

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You can have it.

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What's up brah brah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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