How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family!

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People say it's easy to make fun of retarded people. But it's really not. You always have to explain it to them.

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Why was the 45 year old man crying? He shit his pants.

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What is the square-root of pi? ?pi

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What do Michael Jackson and your family have in common? They're both dead.

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Why wasn't my T.V. on? Because I didn't have a remote.

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what do you call a 2-foot blue scottishman named max? max

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Who was the first person Steven Hawking runs up to when he finds out something new about science? He is in a wheelchair due to a condition called ASL, therefore he cannot "run"

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Remember when the whole country was sad because Marget Thatcher died? No, me neither.

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In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

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What do you get when you mix a deer and a pickle? A very odd dinner.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

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Why didn't the man finish his dinner? His dinner was a wheelchair.

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Why do black people log onto blackpeoplemeet.com? To meet black people.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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What is the best place to get watermelons and fried chicken? A Watermelon grove and a popeyes and/or KFC

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

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There is a British man, a Mexican man,and a American man on a boat. The captain sad the boat is carrying to much weight so the each have to throw off something they have to much of. The Brit throws tea, The Mexican throws tacos, and The American throws the Mexican.

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Write Your Own ___________________________________________ It's easy to take part, just type your text below! ____________________________________________ I have read and agree to the Terms of Service- VIEW TERMS OF SERVICE

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What did the guy say to the other guy? LOOK AT MY EYEBROWS!!!!!!!

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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A list of comebacks: Hows ur face nancy grace ur mom ur face ur moms face take it to my butt, cuz ur the only one that gives a crap

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What do you call a white woman that had sex with a black guy? A rape victim.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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