How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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two penguins are sitting in a bath tub. one penguin says, "hey, can you hand me the soap?" the other penguin says, "what do i look like, a typewriter?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom is dead And your dad is too

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What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

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fack me in the ace! CC

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LOL May Wong

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dream of a day when chickens won't be questioned about their actions

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69

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What's green has eight legs, and would kill you of it fell on you from the top of a tree? A Billiard table

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the same wolf that had devoured the chickens' chicks singlehandedly was chasing it.

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why did the jew cross the road? the ss was chasing him and his family to kill him so he ran across the street to same his family, he got hit by a truck and his family was killed...

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A black man and a jew both fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? the black man

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head underwater for a long time.

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Why did the man not open his door to the trick or treaters? He was a sex offender and it was illegal for him to open it...

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...this makes a cop throw a car and then call "inception!"

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What was the tallest mountain before Mount Everest was discovered? Mount Everest

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What do you call a gay couple of kangaroos adopted baby A Joey

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How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

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A tree walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the log face?".

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL

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Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

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Bloody kids ...

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What do you call a black man inside a house that is on fire? A fire fighter as well as a hero since he was probably inside the house searching for anyone who was trapped inside

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops