what's black and blue and has red all over it? A dead body ^_^

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Ask if I'm a aardvark. Are you a aardvark? Yes.

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you: guess what somebody: what? you: you have cancer

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What's worse than AIDS? Buying the anti-joke book

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new girlfriend? Neither has he.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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How much carlins does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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why does one side of a v-flock of geese have more birds? Because it does.

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what do you call a man with no legs? disabled.

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Q: What did the nomad get for christmas? A: Most likely nothing because he lives in the middle of nowhere where no stores exist. If anything, he got a sandstorm.

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whats worse than getting the girl you're talking to taken from you? getting the girl you like taken from you.. by a asian.

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Guess what these words are: boo_s p_n_s _ _ ndom s_x fu_k wan_er Answers: books,pants,random,six,funk,wander.

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Roses are Red, Blues are Violets, Have I Dyslexia, F**k.

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A man walks in a barn. He lifts his bucket of food and starts feeding his horses.

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Woman rights.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A horse fell in the mud.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A dog goes to his food bowl. He eats his dinner.

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A man met a genie that granted him three wishes. I wish I could fly. The genie gave him a plane ticket. No, I want to really fly for real! The genie put him inside a plane. Okay, I wish I was unable to die then! The genie killed him. Moral: Not every story needs to make a fucking sense.

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face. Why was the little girl sad? Because it was her frog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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