What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink, drinks his drink, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What happened to all of the happy birds flying over the field? They were all suddenly stricken by the bird flu and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

This one time at band camp....

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A Man buys a Prius. Hated it.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead walk into a bar. There is also a woman with black hair standing outside, and the man next to her is bald.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why are black people good at jumping and white people aren't? That's stereotyping people .... anyone can be good jumping as long as the practice.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the man stand on one foot? Because he had one leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What does a paralysed mans legs feel like? We don't know, he is paralysed

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did pikachu say when his trainer was murdered? Pikachu.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

69

thumb_up thumb_down +35

SURFIN' BIRD (Frazier - White - Harris - Wilson) THE TRASHMEN (GARRETT 4002, 1963) A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird B-b-b-bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word! A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a... A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird Bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody's talking about the bird! A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird... Surfin' bird Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb... [retching noises]... aaah! Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa- Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-oom-oom-oom Oom-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-a-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow Papa-oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow Well don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word! A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Stop shitting in my garden

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what's more funny then being raped? not being a minority!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the plane crash? There was a horrible mechanical error that caused the main engines to fail.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why did the boy named rylie white get aids Because he had unprotected sex with someone with aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's green and gets people high? A green helicopter

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Cleveland winning something

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why'd the boy fall off his bike? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +31

K.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock Knock! Oh god Johnny, someones at the door! Hide the heroin and bail man, BAIL!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q. What is a brown cow called? A. A cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the chicken eat fried chicken? Because fried chicken is so good! Kelvin Yang.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops