What's black and twelve inches long? A Maglite.

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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How did the boy cross the road? He didn't he had polio.

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What has 2 brown legs and 2 gray legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

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Suddenly the Titanic started sinking, its a shame it sunk before anyone managed to find out what it was sinking about.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

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What do you call a giggling penguin? Personification.

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Why did the man eat his hat? Autism.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink, drinks his drink, and leaves.

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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How did you feel after smoking that joint? I felt like going to pass out And then? I passed out

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Women.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The inter- You have cancer

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why did the building fall down the terrorists came back

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Paul and Steve, Siamese twins attached at the head, come to a fork in the road they are traveling. Paul wants to go left, while Steve wants to go right. They pause for a moment to figure out which direction would be the best choice for the both of them. They decide to go Paul's way, and as they continue to travel in silence, they try to imagine what life as a self-reliant individual would be like.

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey lolololol Im a dog

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How to do you kill a blonde? Various methods, most effective of which is firing squad

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night, To find nothing amiss.

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What's the best way to look 10 pounds thinner? Lose 10 pounds

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Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees - have nothing at all in common.

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What did the blind man look at when the girl showed him her cleavage ? ... Nothing... He's blind... >_>

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What happened to all of the happy birds flying over the field? They were all suddenly stricken by the bird flu and died.

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How much does a polar bear way? Near 1,100 pounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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