What did the widow get for her birthday? Nothing from her husband.

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What is worse than spending time with in-laws? Nothing.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, some dude ran it over.

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How do you kill a circus? Go for the Juggler!

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what did the parapelegic (limbless) kid get for his birthday? Heart failure

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Why wasn't there a rainbow? It didn't rain.

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whats orange, nocturnal, and hurts to the touch? The sun or an orange owl... Depends on your preference

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Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Because after twenty long years of monotonous nagging, he finally snapped.

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I think people who go to see a psychiatrist need their head examining.

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What is the difference between a rock and a pencil? Your Mom.

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What did the sting ray say to steve irwin? It doesn't matter , steve irwin is dead, dead as a doormat.

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What kind of blue is not heavy? Light blue.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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How many dead jews can you fit in a hole? Ask hitler.

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Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Victor. Victor who? Victor Secret, the gay door to door lingerie salesman. Can i interest you in a plastic cup holder?

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A man walks into a doctors and says 'Doctor, Doctor, I have a bad stomach ache' Upon hearing this, the doctor writes the man a prescription for medication and wishes him a swift recovery.

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a Black Swan walks into a bar......,,,.she then has hallucinations and imagines herself having lesbian sex with Mila Kunis...

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Who has killed more people than Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, and Jack Kevorkian combined? Mr. Rogers

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How do you do you cure cancer? Very carefully.

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An Asian walks out of the library.

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A: What do you call a Jew with only one arm on Christmas? B: An amputee.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops