Melbourne Football Club.

What's worse than a spider bite? Two spider bites. What's worse than two spider bites? The fact that 1/3 of people get cancer. What's worse than that? Three spider bites.

Q: What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A: A pool table

How did they wake up Lady Gaga? They p-p-poked her face p-p-poked her face......!

your mother is so fat that she eats a lot of high fat foods.

Guess what.. chicken butt

What's faster than a black man running with your tv His brother with your XBOX

why did the chicken cross the road? -----it didnt

Knock knock Who's there Santa who santa hates you and that is why you got nothing for Christmastime

Your momma's so fat, her doctor seriously recommends that she lose weight for the sake of her health and happiness.

Why did the book disappear?

If I get 100 likes by tomorrow I will send 100 dollars to who ever likes it if the put down their address and say its for Louis Ok?

What time does lunch usually begin on the other side of the world. Noon.

What will you never see? A white guy that camp jump.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say orange? Well you shouldn't be. I came to tell you your family died in a car crash and you have AIDS.

A Jewish, Italian, and Russian man are stranded on an island. Eventually the Russian man dies from heatstroke, leaving the other two to decide whether or not to feast on his remains. The Italian eventually goes mad and tries to murder the Jewish man who is forced to defend himself and kill his remaining friend. Shortly after, the Jewish man is eventually rescued by a passing German vessel after suffering severe dehydration and malnourishment and hanging on only by his faith in God. As they are leading him to safety, the Jewish man eventually summons the strength to tell his saviors about the horrible things he has done and all he has gone through, not knowing if he'll ever be able to forgive himself. His German rescuers take one awkward look at him, and don't know what to say to help him, leading afterwards to several years of PTSD therapy and rehabilitation.

if she is old enough to bleed, she probably wears tampons.

Penis.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

There was a man workin at the supermarket, when a cow with a hat entered. He realized that it couldn't be really happening and had to be a dream. Effectively: he was dreaming. Actually, he was in jail, and his execution was scheduled for that day.

My dog has no nose! Then how does he smell? Terrible!

Why was the accountant sad? He just watched his wife have consensual sex with another man.

Why did the girl commit suicide? She has been abused severely for seven years by her pet kangaroo.

Roses are black, violets are black, we are all black Shit i'm colour blind

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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