Why did the baboon fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Heartlight

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vagina, hehehehehehehe

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Set an alarm for an appropriate time

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How do you scare a blonde woman? Tie her up and mutilate her family while she watches.

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ecks! why zee?

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Four homosexuals walk into a bar. They notice that there's only one stool left at the bar itself. They sat at a table with four chairs. They had a delightful time.

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Did you hear about the deer? He had antlers. If antlers where a kind of disease, that would be a pun.

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What's green and gets people high? A green helicopter

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- How can you call a person, who hasn't got a left eye, a left hand and a left leg? - All right.

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When Nicki Minaj wrote her song "Stupid Hoe" she was sublimminally talking about her self.

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I took a dump in a well don't ask me i'll never tell i look to u as it fell and now its in the well Hey,i just took a dump and it smells like crazy so here's my number so call the plumber Call the plumber

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How do you do you cure cancer? Very carefully.

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Where did the moon get its degree? Unfortunately, they haven't installed any colleges for planetary satellites yet.

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What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common? They were all human beings

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What's brown and smells like poop? A monkey.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "What'll it be?" The man quietly gazes out at the other people in the bar. He continues to do this for a while, until eventually the bartender calmly taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and the man turns to look over at him. "What can I get you today?" He asks the man. "What?" the man replies. Turns out he's deaf. Who knew?

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Why was O.J acquitted for murder? A jury of his peers deliberated for many days and found there was not sufficient evidence for his conviction.

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A man walks into a bar. He asked the bartender if he accepts $100 bills. The bartender says "no".

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Your momma is so old, she has lived a wonderful, long life and witness a lot of human achievement.

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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Think about it: Is mexico REALLY full of: Lowrides in candy ass sparkly colors such as lip red that bounce, (manly color right? Yeah sure baggot) which contains a whole street war gang of members inside and at least twenty tons of COCAINA! ...But does not have a horn that plays "la cucaracha" Seriously, you say yes right? Hey look at this guy he said yes everybody, but ITS WROOOOOOONG CUCARACHA OR GTFO OF MEXICO! Yeah... Because Mexico is shit, id would be racist if Mexicans didn't agree...

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says why the long face. The horse, unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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A man walks in a barn. He lifts his bucket of food and starts feeding his horses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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