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why did little johnny scream. he was getting torn to pieces

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Why did the baboon fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Heartlight

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12

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What did the sting ray say to steve irwin? It doesn't matter , steve irwin is dead, dead as a doormat.

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what did the black man say to the white man? hi

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, some dude ran it over.

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Knock Knock Whos There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Radley.

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Why is a blonde a door knob... Because everybody gets a turn

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How do you punish an electrician? Kill his family.

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Heat oven to 375°. Grease 18 regular-size muffin cups (or 12 large size muffins). In bowl, mix butter until creamy. ... Add eggs one at a time, beating after each. Beat in vanilla, baking powder and salt. With spoon, fold in half of flour then half of milk into batter; repeat. Fold in blueberries.

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

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what did the parapelegic (limbless) kid get for his birthday? Heart failure

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What's worse than a 15 year old getting hit by a car? Adam Johnson

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Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: That question doesn't make any sense.

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democracy

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis

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Knock Knock ... guess nobody's home.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come home from camp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops