Knock knock Who's there? Death. Come with me.

Knock knock. Who's there? Shut up.

Penis

Pickles

Why can't Bob go to the store? He's dead.

Dory from Finding Nemo: "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy- Hey, I just met you."

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex.

How many hearts does a jellyfish have? None.

Yes.

Why did the vegetarian lose her foot? Diabetes.

What did the chicken say to the dog? Well, since chickens can't talk, they both stood there in an awkward silence.

How do you make a wall a darker shade of red? You throw the baby harder.

A black person and a hispanic person are in a car, who is driving? The black person, after all it's his car.

Why did the orange fall asleep? Because its never awake.

Q. how do you get 50 babies into a bowl? A. blender Q. how do you get them out of the bowl? A. Doritos

What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

roses are red violets are blue you know what? im sick and tired of this joke.

When is a door not a door? Never. a door is always a door. it cannot be anything else.

my friend is gay hes gay

How does a blonde restart her computer? Seriously, you guys, I need help. I'm not a very technological person.

what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Nazis did't burn the pizza

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Norris? well no one knows for certain, but they do know there's alot of fridges involved

If life throws you melons... ouch

YES! EXACTLY!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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