A man walks into a doctors and says 'Doctor, Doctor, I have a bad stomach ache' Upon hearing this, the doctor writes the man a prescription for medication and wishes him a swift recovery.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new girlfriend? Neither has he.

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what do you call a man with no legs? disabled.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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How much carlins does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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whats worse than getting the girl you're talking to taken from you? getting the girl you like taken from you.. by a asian.

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Q: What did the nomad get for christmas? A: Most likely nothing because he lives in the middle of nowhere where no stores exist. If anything, he got a sandstorm.

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What's worse than AIDS? Buying the anti-joke book

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you: guess what somebody: what? you: you have cancer

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A man walks in a barn. He lifts his bucket of food and starts feeding his horses.

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Roses are Red, Blues are Violets, Have I Dyslexia, F**k.

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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A man met a genie that granted him three wishes. I wish I could fly. The genie gave him a plane ticket. No, I want to really fly for real! The genie put him inside a plane. Okay, I wish I was unable to die then! The genie killed him. Moral: Not every story needs to make a fucking sense.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Guess what these words are: boo_s p_n_s _ _ ndom s_x fu_k wan_er Answers: books,pants,random,six,funk,wander.

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A dog goes to his food bowl. He eats his dinner.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A horse fell in the mud.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Woman rights.

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Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because he hijacked the bus.

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Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He didnt, he got ran over.

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whats green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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A fat man and his dog walk into a bar...the man buys a beer and walks out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops