What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

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A caterpillar walks into a bar. I don't know how he opened the door.

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wood cant chuck wood

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack addiction. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And is then a homeless broke man who does not even have 4 quarters to his name.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Where did Susie go after an explosion? Everywhere

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What do you call a man who is dirty, and is searching through a pile of garbage? A man who threw out his divorce papers.

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What's a skateboard without wheels A snowboard

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Why are black people so tall ? Genetics. duh.

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What do you call a person who is 6 feet under? Lost.

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Where do black people ride bicycles? In the Pedestrian Zone.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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what does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? ouch

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connor sucks

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What happened when a saxophone hit Sally? She had a concussion.

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why was the boy sad He had a frog stapled to his face

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A white man and woman are married and the wife becomes pregnant. However, the wife has been having an affair with an African American man. The baby turns out to be white and so the woman was very fortunate or else the husband would have figured it out for sure.

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Micheal Jackson walks into a bar?

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a kangaroo walks in to a bar and sits down. Kangaroo's live in Auustralia

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ass in my face ? no

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There was a man on a park bench and he saw a duck fly by so he decided to go and see what it was up to. He saw that it was just going for a swim in a near by pond. He died 2 years ago of auto erotic asphyxiation because of a common fetish.

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Why did the Muslim enter the bar? He didn't.

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How do you get a dog off of your roof? Shoot it.

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You know what's funny? A bucket full of dead babies. Do you know what's funnier? The last one is still alive and crying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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