A man walks into a school, he then proceeds to gun down the majority of the students before taking his own life. What a sad, sad day.

Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

Paperclip... BANANA?!

What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She never got her drivers license.

Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Two gay guys walk into a Hooters... They order cheese fries and enjoy their meal.

What would you get if I your donkey ate my chickens legs? A court order to have them seperated.

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

why did the little girl fall off the swing - she had no arms.

What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

why did the kid fall over and break his neck? Because he slipped on the ice-cream from the kid who got hit by a bus.

Jews.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

British Dentistry

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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