What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

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Why did the man stand on one foot? Because he had one leg.

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Why did the man have a hole in his head? He was shot.

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A straight guy, a straight girl and a bisexual guy walk into a bar. The bisexual guy is twice as likely to find a partner from a purely statistical point of view.

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A man sees a clown, a robot, and a monkey walking down the street side by side. The man ponders the randomness of life.

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Why is it incorrect that the universe will end in 2012? Because profound idiocy doesn't always occur.

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Why did the chiocken cross the road? There's no such thing as a chiocken.

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Whats an Anti-Joke? Funny

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Did you hear about the deer? He had antlers. If antlers where a kind of disease, that would be a pun.

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Q. What did the man say when his car broke down. A. Damn it, my car broke down.

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What starts with 's' and ends in 'ex'? S.e.x -XH

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Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

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Q: What's the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde? A: Whereas intelligent blondes are known to exist, most scientists discount the existence of Bigfoot and consider it to be a combination of folklore, misidentification, and hoax, rather than a living animal, in part because of the large numbers thought necessary to maintain a breeding population.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm Blind.

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A dog goes to his food bowl. He eats his dinner.

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Two muffins are in an oven. The oven is set to 425 degrees farenheit. The two muffins are taken out of the oven once cooked, and enjoyed by the couple who cooked them.

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I once went seven years without sex, then I turned eight and my uncle raped me.

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Why did the black man wear a coat, shirt, pants, and underwear on a rainy day? Because he didn't want to be naked.

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Woman rights.

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Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

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It was just Michael J. Fox's birthday I wonder if he got in trouble for shaking his presents.

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What's worse than AIDS? Buying the anti-joke book

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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A hipster gets summoned for jury duty. The case is solved promptly and everyone goes home happy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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