There was a man on a park bench and he saw a duck fly by so he decided to go and see what it was up to. He saw that it was just going for a swim in a near by pond. He died 2 years ago of auto erotic asphyxiation because of a common fetish.

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What do you call girls that can run faster than me? Virgins

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1 leaves because no one is answering the door

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you cuz your fat.

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Two buissness men had a meeting at 12:00 they had there meeting at 12:00 and left back to there normal life.

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Chuck Norris is an average human being!

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Holy fuckfarts! I did mention I am at my mothers place right? What am I saying? What am I typing? Marry me now!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators come in an assortment of colors

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What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

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How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic men? 25

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Q. Why did Mary fall down the steps? A. Because she had no legs.

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A man walks into a bar. He pulls out a knife, shoots the bar tender, and then kills himself.

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Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

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Have you seen Ray Charles' house? No. Neither has he...

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I enjoy vagina. While you enjoy penis in your mouth. Just remember God hates fags. :)

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Why weren't there any black people at the book sale? Black people don't read.

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What did the woman say when the man got her flowers? "Why thank you."

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What do you call a puppy in alaska? A cold PUPPY!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, he was hit by a car.

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24

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Im So Hood... That When I go Shopping, I Buy Sweatshirts with Hoods

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Children playing GTA......... what a world of rapists

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops