There once was a man from Peru, who dreamed he swallowed his shoe. But it turns out his dream was real, and he died because he could not digest a whole shoe.

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Who was the first person Steven Hawking runs up to when he finds out something new about science? He is in a wheelchair due to a condition called ASL, therefore he cannot "run"

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Knock Knock Who's there? its the police mam your son has been killed by a hit and run driver, the driver was an alcohol

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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mark is mark

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Why was the asian boy made fun of in the locker room? Because of the nipple piercing he had.

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A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit stumbles into a genie while coming to a clearing. The Genie says, "I will give you both three wishes." The bear thinks quickly and says, "I wish every bear in the forest was female." The Genie then grants the wish. "And...now I wish that each bear in the country was female!" The Genie grants the wish. "AND I WISH THAT EVERY BEAR IN THE WORLD WAS FEMALE!!!" the bear exclaims, now getting overly excited by his wishes. The Genie grants the last wish and then turns to the rabbit. "Your turn." The rabbit wishes for a pair of running shoes and the well being of his family and friends. For his last wish he points at the bear and says, "I wish he was gay."

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Holy fuckfarts! I did mention I am at my mothers place right? What am I saying? What am I typing? Marry me now!

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Men, get on the boat.

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what glows blue and howls at the moon at midnight? I dont know but i had sex with your mother.

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Q. have you seen stevie wonders last album? A. neither has he.

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Q.whats the differecne between a bicycle? A. orange,...a vest dont got no sleeves.

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Is this where I type the joke?

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What's black and flies? Whatever it is, it's not a car.

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my nAME IS ALAN AND IM NOT COOL

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What do you do when you see Godzilla? You offer him ice cream.

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What happens when you click a link on a web page offering sex? You get a virus.

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Polity ask him to stop.

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun......he is a 25-year veteran SWAT team officer attempting to arrest two armed robbers that have 5 old ladies hostage.

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one day 2 strawberrys walked to the ice cream store and ordered a small cup of banana ice cream they were realley happy they were later taken in and tortured and raped

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it was a refrigerator. Why did the little girl die? Because she was hit by two monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because you didn't fuking cook to -.-

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A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

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A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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