What's Brown and Sticky? A stick.

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What did the Democrat say to the Republican? "I am sorry about your mother". They had been good friends since childhood and the Republicans mother was soon to die from terminal cancer.

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Roses are red, white, pink, and many other colors. Violets similarly display many color variations due to generations of ardent florists.

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I like my women the way I like my coffee: Without a penis.

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Dat ass, or dem titties? Your choice.

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Why did the baboon fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did Helen Keller see on her trip? Nothing

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has been sexually abusing 6 for all his life

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What did Don King do with his new boxers? Put them on with a respectable pair of trousers.

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Heartlight

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Why does it matter, they can't chuck wood in the first place.

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There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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How much does a polar bear way? Near 1,100 pounds.

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why do birds fly away when you go near them? incase your black

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I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

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Do you know what is dead on the carpet ? Your mother

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How do you scare a blonde woman? Tie her up and mutilate her family while she watches.

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What is the difference between a mustache, and a pile of dead babies? Mustaches disgust me.

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vagina, hehehehehehehe

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Set an alarm for an appropriate time

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Did you hear about the deer? He had antlers. If antlers where a kind of disease, that would be a pun.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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What's green and gets people high? A green helicopter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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