What will you never see? A white guy that camp jump.

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A mushroom walked into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom said, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender said, "Exactly. It's a health hazard. I already have two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Nothing because saying a fish can talk is like saying Obama is a good president.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs go for christmas? Cancer

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What's the difference between a tomato and a rhinoceros? Neither of them can ride a bicycle.

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So a leg, an arm and a head win the Boston marathon. And I'm sitting here masturbating, ...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Womens Rights.

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Why did the mathematician cross the road? To get his mail.

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I like my women like I like my coffee, without a dick

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When life hands you lemons, you should question your sanity

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What do you get if you cross a Sheep with a Kangeroo. An abomination unto God.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life changes and moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medical prescription as directed by her doctor.

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A fish finds that his fishbowl is on fire. He escapes the bowl only to realize he is equally screwed.

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What's the difference between Rebecca black and your mom? Capitalize Black.

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Why didn't the woman believe in God? Her own personal beliefs.

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How many people with Alzheimers does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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Try saying "Good Eye Might" without sounding Australian.

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A girl was walking home from school, she had a pizza box in her hands, her mom was waiting for her in the car to take her to T.G.I.F, and then she dropped the pizza box in the middle of the street. In a frantic attemp to get the box, she run out into the middle of the street and got hit by a semi. Her funeral is tomorrow.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: a pizza is a food that was created in italy and is regularly eaten daily around the world and a jew is a religion that is constantly criticized and made fun of because they are different.

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Why does no one we talk about Nagasaki, they got bombed too...

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How did you feel after smoking that joint? I felt like going to pass out And then? I passed out

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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