There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Womens' Rights

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justin bieber

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why is 6 afraid of 7? because 6 is a capitalist and 7 is a communist

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Why couldn't the girl brush her hair? Because she had leukemia

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Why do you touch yourself at night? Because I do too

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What the difference between water and water? Nothing, they're both water.

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If you rape a prostitute is it shop lifting?

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A mexican Police officer walks into a crime scene. "Ouch." he exclaims, rubbing his forehead where a red bump is already surfacing.

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Q: What did the guy with glasses say to the guy without glasses? A: Dude your not wearing glasses.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Shit I'm bleeding.

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Why did the plane crash? Why? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Chickens like to wander around.

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What did the African want for breakfast? Ebola cereal

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What was the pirate's favorite letter W

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What do black people and apples have in common? They are both fruit... except for black people

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? There is no best time, it is based on personal opinion and depending whether or not you have a conflicting schedule

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What did God say to the snake when the Snake decided to ignore God and just give Eve the apples? Snake what are you doing? Answer me, SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! *DUN DUN DURUDUN! DU DU DUN! *gunshot* Moral: I just hate thumbs ups, and the comments where I omit this receives those horrible green thumbs instead of them sexy red ones, so there goes.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple finding half a worm in your apple.

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What do you call a man who has Alzheimer's? Wait what am I doing?

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Why did the bus crash? The driver was a tomato.

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Why didnt the black man run the marathon? He was in jail

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Yo momma's so fat, that she was put in this joke

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Your mom's so hairy, she should go to the barber!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops