Q:What did grandma get for christmas? A:a coffen

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Why did the crack head cross the road? To get crack.

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How did the magician make it look like there are 2 books on the table? By putting 2 books on the table

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a cucumber

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing ? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Well it cant be sarah

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, and then come back halfway? A: He was racing his friend to the other side. He didn't realize his friend got hit by a truck until he looked back. He continually cried until finally he got it together and walked over to his dead friend. He wasn't paying attention though, and another truck hit him. The truck driver continued his road trip and bought KFC for dinner.

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what is the awesomest of them all? me

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what do a parrot and a hippo have in common? i want to kill every non white human being!!!!

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What's funny? At the exact moment you read this, someone is suffering from domestic abuse.

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Q. What do you get when a banana and a person mate? A. The banana suffocates

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Q: What did the alcoholic get for his Birthday?\ A: A Jail Sentence

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Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? An Xbox 360.

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How could you ever watch a man hit another man and say nothing? UFC is on at 9:00pm.

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What's the difference between a catcher's mitt and Lou Ferrigno? If you seriously said "I don't know, what?" I suggest getting a medical examination by a professional psychologist.

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Me: Ask me if im a penguin friend: are you a penguin? me: no.

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^that joke a piece of shit

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I've got a dig bick

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What did the kid with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? A: Polio.

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What is 8 times 4? 32

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how many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? none their all dead.

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Why did the chicken kross the road? It didn't because it was a highway and it got hit by a bus.

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An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

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What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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