Why didn't God show up to Jesus' bar mitzvah? Because he doesn't exist.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: How should I know?

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this guy didnt get any pussy last night so go easy on him I I I V

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Can I ask you a question? You just did

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he was hungry and mcdonalds was across the street

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A man was getting surgery on his knee and the surgeon accidentally left a knife in his leg. The man's leg was severely infected and he proceeded to die in the following weeks. His family will mourn this loss for years to come.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (a police officer steps in and says): What is red and green and peed all over? I dont know Im sorry to say, but its your mother. A group of teens killed her and defiled her body with urine. She was wearing green.

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who is mark

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what glows blue and howls at the moon at midnight? I dont know but i had sex with your mother.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I picked them in the meadow this morning

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What's worse than finding a fly in your coffee? The holocaust. What's worse than that? Two flies in your coffee.

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Do you really want to know what i shit? Poo

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Who was the first person Steven Hawking runs up to when he finds out something new about science? He is in a wheelchair due to a condition called ASL, therefore he cannot "run"

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"Doctor! Doctor! It hurts when I urinate!" "you may have a kidney stone"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jahova's witnesses.

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There was this women at a banana festival, but she didn't like bananas. So she split

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Whats worse than an old guy? An old woman!

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Can you answer one question for me? Yes Thank you

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What's the difference between a duck and a belt? One floats in water and I don't remember the rest but you are a whore.

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If you stretch all your skin out in a line, you will die of blood loss or possible infection

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Give me thumbs up!

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Q: Why is it sad that nobody was injured in a train crash? A: Because everyone died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops