You know what you can do with your offer to 'help'? Await another opportunity please I appreciate it much.

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What did one musician say to the other? "We should have gone to college."

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What has four legs and one arm? An attack dog in a daycare.

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Why do all black people look the same? They don't you're just racist.

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Why did the woman not make her husband a sandwich? Because he died in 9/11

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How do you confuse a blond? Begin talking to her about a subject that's not in her field of expertise using complicated technical verbiage and jargon.

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(approach girl) How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to fit into the same dress as you

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If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples how many pankackes can fit on the roof? Purple because alians do not wear hats./

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How do you starve a blonde? You tie them up and deprive them of any food.

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A scientist walks into a bar. His forehead becomes swollen.

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What's the difference between a table lamb? A fishing pole, automobiles are very useful

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Q) what's black and white and red all over? A) a slaughtered zebra.

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is your refrigerator running? yeah oh, ok. just making sure your food doesn't spoil

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Q. How many lemons does one person take to fill a ladder? A. Fish

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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A Mexican, A Caucasian and An African American walk into a bar. Suddenly, a rival of the African American's pulls up in a used Chevrolet and shoots him 6 times with a semi-automatic handgun. The Mexican and Caucasian are distraught and call 911 immediately. The rival is later arrested and found guilty of murder in the first degree by a jury of his peers. Less than 6 months later, the bar is closed due to the negative stigma surrounding the shooting. Urban life is a harrowing and tough experience that most outsiders will never fully understand.

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If an illegal immigrant fought a child molester, is it Alien vs. Predator?

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Hi

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Knock knock Who's there Santa who santa hates you and that is why you got nothing for Christmastime

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.... Take my wife..... .... She is lovely....

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You.

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Why did the man name his boy "Sue?" He had bad eyesight and thought it was a girl.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Trolololollolololololololololololololol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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