A mexican Police officer walks into a crime scene. "Ouch." he exclaims, rubbing his forehead where a red bump is already surfacing.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names! *ba dum chzz*

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what do you sit on, poop on, and sleep on? a bed, a toilet, and a chair

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So this guy comes into a bar... Jizz eveywhere.

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" Hey you have something on your face. " ( man speaking punches the guy he was talking to ) " It was pain."

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your mumma so fat she stepped on the weight scales and it says to be continued

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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Polite say "Hey you, get out of that tree."

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A blonde woman walked into a bar. She ordered a scotch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because at some point through out the day, it had been relocated to the other side of the road. Since it was feeding time, it needed to return to the chicken coop or else risk death due to starvation.

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THEY SAY SEEING IS BELIEVING. I NEVER SAW 9/11! 9/11? NEVER HAPPENED -Jonathan

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Bob and his family were looking forward to going to an all inclusive holiday to Spain. When they got on the plane, a bomb went off, causing Bob to realise that he was never going to see his family again, and that they were about to suffer a horrific, painful death.

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a man walks into a prostitute.

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Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. see how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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How do you pleasure your grandmother? Ask your brother

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A man runs into a house and unloads a round of bullets killing 2 people in the kitchen. He wins Search and Destroy for his team at Nuketown.

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Women's rights.

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Q: Do you know what Lady Gaga make for his birthday? A: A party

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Q: What do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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Did you hear about the man who thought his wife was trying to kill him? He's dead.

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Strawberries!

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A man goes to see his doctor and says "Doctor, I have a pain in my leg." The doctor replies "That's the least of your worries, I ran your blood test and you have AIDS."

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills? They don’t, dinosaurs don’t have a capital system.

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What does a plum and a rabbit have in common? A: they're both purple, except for the rabbit!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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