What clicks when its out of lead ? A gun Why was the little black boy crying ? He ran out of that grape drank How do you make a dead baby float ? You take your foot of its head How do you know when your life is over ? When you start watching Twilight What is blue and sticky ? Blue Stick What do you get when you mix a dog and a cat ? Shit

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? No amount of them could ever figure it out. They all tremble with fear in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what happens when you have A.D.D.? you're EXTREMELY annoying

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, Violets are blue. My mom went to the doctor and found out she has cancer, so when she told me, I was eccentric. That tree is green.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why wasn't the black woman allowed on the bus? It was rush hour and the bus was full.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Follow the Yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road........except it's not yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Who's there? A human pretending to be a dog A human pretending to be a dog who? Errr...I mean...woof

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mamas so stupid that she received slightly below average in her latest maths test

thumb_up thumb_down +8

knock, knock. come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than cancer? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Scene:restraunt Me:can I have a coke please? Waiter:sorry we don't have any, is Pepsi ok? Me:is monopoly money ok?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock, Who's there? Billy. Billy who? Billy your next door neighbor, I need to borrow some sugar. Ok, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Walruses are basically saber-toothed seals. That does not affect the fact that they are awesome.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

give one word to discribe a man who has been in combat for 10 years and finnaly gets home to his family and he chokes and dies on piece of brockly. Irony

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why are black people so good at basketball? because they all can run jump steal and shoot

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is Kanye West's main goal in life? To crush the hopes and dreams of singing stars on national television, beginning with Taylor Swift.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walked into a bar There were some other people there too

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the black man say to the white man? Hi im phill

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how did helen keller break her arm? reading at 100 miles per hour

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you stop a baby from falling into a manhole? You catch it, and then call the appropriate services and inform them of the dangerous open manhole.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops