Whats the difference between an oven and a fridge One is hot and the other is cold

What is red, blue, and green all over? A piece of paper with three colors on it.

What's green,has 4 legs and lives in a tree? A pool table

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS.

What did God say to Noah? "Hi."

Meh, I dont want it anymore! You can have it.

Are you Drew?

How many people does it take to drive a car? 1 person

A man walks in to a bar and says "ouch."

whats the difference between a rapist and a pedophile? the racist has his own whistle

roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

Knock knock Who's there? It's me, Dave. You still wanna go to the movies? Oh, yeah...let me grab my wallet.

ugh good riddance

The Cubs are going to win the world series this year

A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

three men get stranded on a island and cannibals find them and they say go find 3 fruits and come back. first guy comes back with three apples and they say we will shuve them in your rectum and if you scream we will kill you he screams he dies. second guy comes back with grapes and he laughs before they can start. and in heaven the first guy says why did you laugh and he says there voices are funny.

DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BYrnTHE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.TOMMOROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOWrnYOU'VE STARTED READING THIS. DON'T STOP. THIS IS SO FREAKY.rn1. say your name ten times.rn2.say your mom's name five times.rn3. say your crushes three timesrn4. paste this to four other groups.rnIf you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday.rnBut if you read this and do not paste this, then yournwill have very bad luck.rnSEND THIS TO 5 GROUPS IN 143 MINUTES. WHENrnYOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERSrnON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKSrnrnrn

A man walk into a bar. He then falls down, quickly picks himself up, and continues his life.

Why did the boy like watching NASCAR? He didnt because he was a fish and a secret Soviet spy

Your in a building there's no windows ,doors and a sement floors and u only have a mirror and a table how do you get out You look in the mirror see what u saw take the saw saw the table in half two halfs make a hole clime out the hole

What does a snowplow clearing an empty parking lot look like? A horse running freely in a pasture

A: How much do you love me? B: Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. A: But, it's morning. B: Exactly.

why did the iraqi woman bury her wedding ring in the ground? because it's the only way she could properly pay respect to the death of her husband who recently died in a group suicide bombing.

Does pizza sound good for dinner?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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