Who would win in a fight between a polar bear and a tiger? Considering that they live in different habitats, the chances are very unlikely that they would ever interact.

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What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

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You're Adopted.

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Knock, knock. Whose there? Tits. Tits, who? SUCK EM'!

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? Molest them.

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face. Why was the little girl sad? Because it was her frog.

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Diseases show if a prerson lacks vitamins and minerals.

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? Escape.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A horse fell in the mud.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Nock Nock. Whose there? The chicken.

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"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

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Trashcan!

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Why did the koala bear fall outta the tree? He died. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree?? He was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree?? He had no arms. Why did the fourth koala fall out of the tree?? He thought it was a race to the bottom. Why did the fifth koala fall out of the tree?? Peer Pressure.

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A dislexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to enjoy the breasts that he has stumbled upon.p

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a drumset fell off a clif. Badoom ch.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The horse, being unable to understand the barman, breaks a table and shits on the floor.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly is made from the juice of the fruit while jam is made from the pulp of the fruit.

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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why did helen cellars dog runway. you would to if ur name was ujujujujjujujujujujj

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What has 9 arms and sucks? Def Leppard

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What do nappies and politicians have in common? Not a lot, although President Roosevelt suffered from incontinence due to polio as a child.

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Once upon a time, I farted They believe this now as the "Big Bang"

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What do you call a person at your door? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops