Why do birds fly south in winter? Because its too far to go walking.

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Which side of a chicken has more feathers? The outside.

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Why did little Tommy sink to the bottom of the pool? He had no arms.

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What starts with F and ends with Uck? F U C K

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm dyslexic couldn't tell, could you?

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where are the maternaty clothing in walmart???? The C section

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You have 5 $1 dollar bills. Your mom rapes you and you still have 1 $5 dollar bill.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He had no limbs

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Why do black people sit so far back in their seats? Because they're used to sitting in the back of the bus

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How do you kill a circus? Go for the Juggler!

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What did Pikachu tell Ash? "Pikachu."

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree it can hurt you? A pool table.

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If yesterday was friday, today is saturday, what day is it tomorrow? sunday

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What's big, yellow and green? The sun, i was kidding about the green

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What do you a call a person who can't fly. A person.

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What's worse than finding a fly in your drink? Gonorrhea.

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What did the white guy say to the black guy? I used to be black also. My name is Michael.

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What was the tallest mountain before Mount Everest was discovered? Mount Everest

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There are four dead people on a boat. They commit suicide. Why did they commit suicide. To get to the other side!

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What's the worste part about alzheimer's disease? You forgot you have AIDS.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He quickly works on treating the injuries he had received from hitting his head against the bar when he had walked into it.

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? no eye deer! -jpow

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there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

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Police say's 'have you been drinking' and you reply back saying 'YES' then the police brings out the blower and you blow, it says on it that you are fine, but then the cops ask you 'what did you drink' and you just say 'well i drank juice for breakfast then had some water, tea, coffee' the cops get really angry but before he says anything you say that ' I AM MUSLIM'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops