A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why wasn't the black woman allowed on the bus? It was rush hour and the bus was full.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did my brother drive the speed limit? Because it's the law

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Follow the Yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road........except it's not yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 is a bully. every day 7 ate 6's books and punches him. 6 would go to 9 but today 7 ate 9

thumb_up thumb_down +10

the comment about daniel was fron brock

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get when you put white cheese in a blender and turn it on? White cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats an orphans favorite memory? Not one with his/her parents! PWNED TO ALL YOU ORPHANS OUT THURRRRR!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats black and has no ring? LeBron James

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call one lawyer shot dead in the street? Ghandi.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Scene:restraunt Me:can I have a coke please? Waiter:sorry we don't have any, is Pepsi ok? Me:is monopoly money ok?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than cancer? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mamas so stupid that she received slightly below average in her latest maths test

thumb_up thumb_down +8

knock, knock. come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock, Who's there? Billy. Billy who? Billy your next door neighbor, I need to borrow some sugar. Ok, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Walruses are basically saber-toothed seals. That does not affect the fact that they are awesome.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock Who's there? A human pretending to be a dog A human pretending to be a dog who? Errr...I mean...woof

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why are black people so good at basketball? because they all can run jump steal and shoot

thumb_up thumb_down +8

give one word to discribe a man who has been in combat for 10 years and finnaly gets home to his family and he chokes and dies on piece of brockly. Irony

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is Kanye West's main goal in life? To crush the hopes and dreams of singing stars on national television, beginning with Taylor Swift.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops