Q: I have 2 dogs. Why? A: I like dogs

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(insert command here) Oh yeah, well I want world peace.

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knock knock who's there? no one, but I appreciate the fact you asked.

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Why did the man bring the computer to the doctor because it had a virus

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Why did the blond put a condom on her hear? So, she would not get hearing ads.

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Every 20 seconds, a child in africa starves to death... Every 30 seconds, an obese american teen stuffs their face with McDonalds

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It wa Jerry's first day of kindergarten He pulled out a .44 magnum and shot himself under the chin where he was instantly dead... Yes, dead

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Well I dont think that has happened to anyone ever so I guess nothings worse.

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Good to know tattletale, I remember hating you back then when you betrayed me, but I cant wait to meet you again. Anyway Nero, I am a girl, its not about sex with me, I just had to tell you, and hope you will take better care of yourself, I know you used to be worried about your looks, and I just want you to understand ill be there for you no matter what. Thanks for the kind words Nero, I know you mean them, you never hid the fact that you found me attractive, but while I did not understand then why you would ruin every nice moment by saying something cheesy or rude, I think I get it now... I know you need rest, but can I arrive as soon as possible? Ill just wait outside or something, I wont be a bother I promise.

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There once was a squirrel. He lost his nuts.

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my namew is jd

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nofin Eejit.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? playing spin the bottle with your mom

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas

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What happens when you stab yourself in the heart? You die.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Probably just one.

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A blind man walks into a bar... And a table. And a chair.

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Why did the deer die Because Jupiter is incapable of supporting life

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Question: What is black and white and read all over? Guess: A newspaper? Answer: No. A zebra that was shot by a poacher. Poaching is a serious problem all over the world and should be looked down upon by all. It is not something to joke about.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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What do you call a hispanic and black man flying a plane? A pilot and his co-pilot.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing!!

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Why Was Did Jill Cross The Road? She Needed To Get To Work.

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You know what they say about women with really big feet? They actually don't say anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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