A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

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A kid walked in to a bar, grabbed a napkin, and left

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Paperclip... BANANA?!

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What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

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Theres a black a guy and a mexican in a car, whos driving? The black guy, they are best friends and happen to both be neurosurgeons.

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What did one narwhal say to another Hi ;)

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what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

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What is the favorite song of Lady Di? no, that is a dead person and must be respected.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pancakes Ouch! That hurt!

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a mom tell her kid not to play with knives ten years later tells her kid not to play with knives and the kid asks y and the mom says because ur older brother killed his father and himself playing with knives so the kid said mom i promise i wont do that then kils his mom and himself

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What do you get if you cross a Black Man with a Knife? Stabbed.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are both eaten fifteen minutes later.

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Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pile of shit ? One is a black man, the other is a pile of shit.

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A blond was driving her car one day when "Party in the USA" came one the radio. She put her hands up; however, she realized she had to keep control of the car. She put one hand back on the steering wheel and arrived to her destination safely.

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What's worse than getting kicked by a horse? Drowning.

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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Q: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

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Yo mama's so stupid.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................uh jk

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Why did Landry hit the man with a metal pipe? Because he was a rapist and wanted to remove his virgin status.

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Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

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what is it called when a woman is president. The Apacolypse.

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How did the Jew escape being put in the gas chamber? He killed himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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