what's worse than finding 8 babies in 1 trash can? nuclear warfare

What did one narwhal say to another Hi ;)

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

how do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? throw a mars bar off a cliff!

who is still together after all the crap they have been through? your butt cheeks

Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A blue plastic bag in the wind.

How do you make a Trucker cry? Kill his family and chop of his arms.

Women's rights... Are a legitimate concern in today's society.

why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

Q: What do you call a car full of black people? A: Stolen

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She never got her drivers license.

Yo momma is SO black.

A Mexican, and American, and a Chinese man are crossing the street. They all get hit by a car and die.

your momma is so poor she had you just for the free milk

Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

What is green with wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

Yeah Aodhans been typing up everything strting argument along with taggart

roses are red, violets are blue my name is hitler, good bye jew

yeah..

If life gives you lemons, you shoud be thankful it didn't give you AIDS.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...