What is big, white, and hurts when it falls from the sky? A FRIDGE

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An American man stopped me the other day and asked for the time, I looked at my watch and said: 5 o'clock.

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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yo mama is so old i told her to act her own age and she told me to shut up and get out of her house.

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You Know Wats Funny? Jokes....

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Get in the Batmobile.

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Tic tac toe. You were adopted.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.

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No, we got to speak now, or you know, never.

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Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? You have HIV.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree it can hurt you? A pool table.

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How do you do you cure cancer? Very carefully.

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Q:why did the boy fall off the swing A:he had no arms Q:why couldn't he get up A:he had no legs Q:why did he die A:he fell in a puddle

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WHO the FUK are Waseem ? and Jess ??!!!!

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one animal there and it was a dog. It was a shitzoo

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Q: whats the fastest way to a woman's heart? A: A knife to the ribs...

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daises are red, holy crap my garden is on fire.

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Whats worse than a paper cut? Nine/Eleven

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What do you do with dead chemists? You carefully place their remnants in a casket, which is to be placed in a precisely dug hole. Once the casket is placed, you put a gravestone into the ground, signifying the chemists' date of birth and death.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He quickly works on treating the injuries he had received from hitting his head against the bar when he had walked into it.

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What is black, white and red all over? A black, white and red pen.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? -Its a chicken you dumb shit.

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, every time I drink coffee, my eye hurts". The Doctor then tells him, "You have an infection called conjunctivitis, also known as pinkeye"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops