whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Nevermind, that was a stupid question.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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what did the farmer say to the cowgirl that made her positive that she had a weird laugh? you have a weird laugh.

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3 Mormon men walk by a blonde woman eating a banana. They are not distracted by this and continue their journey of spreading Christianity.

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A duck walks by to a lemonade stand. He says to the man running the stand, "Quack."

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

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What's the difference between a turtle and a horse? The horse has no shell.

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Tifa, seriously... You cannot look like the game character and have the same name! HEY I am craving for a bit of infamy, how about we claim that we is I! Which will make me seem completely pathetic for spending the whole night chatting with myself... Which is not bad at all actually...

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Q: Have you heard from that guy who dropped a piano on his head? A: No one has, he dropped a piano on his head.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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hey guys what's up?

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Knock Knock Who's there? I bought a Jeep

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Q. what did the gay man say about the smoothie? A. he said "that is soooo good"

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4

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What is Freddie Mercury's favorite planet? Earth.

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What can you never have for dinner? Breakfast and lunch

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What happened in your mom's locked bedroom last night I don't know

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Whats worse then getting caught watching porn? 9/11

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Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Kill his family.

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Society has given up on chairs that spin.

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Why did the man run? Because he was trying to get a gold medal for the 200m at the Olympics.

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Why is an elephant large, grey and wrinkled? Because if it was small, round and smooth it would be an aspirin.

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I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's wet.

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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