I was at the ocean, and I saw a screaming fish. Then it died.

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whats the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? the ferrari is not in my garage.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink, drinks his drink, and leaves.

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what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

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How do you fix America's national security issues? Nuke russia

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What's the difference between a freezer and a baby? A freezer doesn't scream when I pack my meat into it.

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Paul and Steve, Siamese twins attached at the head, come to a fork in the road they are traveling. Paul wants to go left, while Steve wants to go right. They pause for a moment to figure out which direction would be the best choice for the both of them. They decide to go Paul's way, and as they continue to travel in silence, they try to imagine what life as a self-reliant individual would be like.

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? My d**k.

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Try saying "Good Eye Might" without sounding Australian.

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Why did the man eat his hat? Autism.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The inter- You have cancer

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What did the widow get for her birthday? Nothing from her husband.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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Who has killed more people than Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, and Jack Kevorkian combined? Mr. Rogers

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Why does it matter, they can't chuck wood in the first place.

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roses are red violets are blue i ate a peanut lets go have sex

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Q:Why do people not live forever? A: Because they die dumbass.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family of four.

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A man has only two fingers on one hand, and everybody calls him two-fingered Mike. Why? Because his fingers were lost in a tragic accident at birth, and his parents, who were considering calling him Mike, decided to lengthen the name because it seemed appropriate.

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Why was the boy crying? Because his parents were in a car crash and died and his grandparents were already dead and he got cancer for christmas. And he had no testicles

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What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

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Q: What's bigger than a volcano? A: Earth

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he was dead.

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The internet is the most terrible fucking place in existence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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