Cat got your tongue? Punch it in the face, and retrieve your tongue.

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I baked you a pie! Oh boy! What flavor? Apple.

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Dylan Hodge likes to lick his mums penis to sleep every night.

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I have a sandwich and chips for lunch! But instead of a sandwich I have macaroni, and instead of chips I have no friends.

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how do you save a black guy from drowning. with a life preserver.

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Why was little billy sad? He had a crouton stuck up his asshole.

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Why did the guy throw a clock out his window? Because he was mentally unstable and needs help.

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There were 3 guys named Sean, Ryan, and Eye. They were best friends. However, things escalated when Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend and Ryan found out. Ryan felt he had to tell Sean that Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend. Ryan went up to Sean and said "Dude, Eye slept with your girlfriend!" Then Sean shot Ryan in the head before Ryan realized what he had said. Game Over

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What's the difference between a freezer and a baby? A freezer doesn't scream when I pack my meat into it.

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How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

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Why did the Filipino hate internet advertising? Because navigating around a webpage with pestering visual and audible promotions often proves cumbersome and distracting from the task at hand.

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Whats the differance between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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knock knock Who's there? because 7 ate 9

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "I should've voted Democrat!"

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How much does a polar bear way? Near 1,100 pounds.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef

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Your mamas so fat. She fat.

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Q: What did the peanut say to the shell? A: Its dark in here.

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Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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Q: how do you make a baby blow bubbles? A: hold it under water, or as an alternative you could hold it under its twin sisters blood.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I am.

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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