What's black and blue and red all over? The dead woman in the dumpster.

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Two hillbillies are sitting in a van. It's friday and one of them suggests they should play a game of 20 Questions. The other one agrees. The first hillbilly thinks of the word 'donkey dick'. - Is it something you can eat? the second hillbilly asks. - Yes, the first one replies. - Is it a donkey dick? - Yes.

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yo mamas so fat... she's a map on call of duty

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Knock knock Who's there? Honey, just let me in. This bloody game can't go on for an hour. I'm cold out here.

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A blonde walks into a bar and orders a drink. The end.

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Why is Pawn Stars the best show on the History Channel? Because Pawn Stars is the only show on the History Channel.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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how do you get someone out of a chair? hit him with a shovel

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What did one prisoner on death row say to the other? Can you please clean off the seat when you're done? I'd like to die in my own urine.

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What's worse then a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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A guy in a truck delivering furniture runs over a frog. Concerned for the frog, he pulls over and runs back to the frog and asks "Are you ok?" The frog replies "Yeah, you want to buy a cupboard?"

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What rhymes with popscicle and weighs at least 300 pounds? Your mom. I lied about the popsicle.

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Why didn't the woman believe in God? Her own personal beliefs.

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What do you get if you cross a Sheep with a Kangeroo. An abomination unto God.

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What do men and women have in common? They're both respected members of society, besides women.

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what do you call a mixbreed of a bull dog and a shitzu? a sharpei

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Why was Timmy dirty? Because he was buried

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A: 14

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A Priest, a Minister, and a Rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, a joke?"

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The man replies, "Bless you." The man walks out of the bar, as his peers realize he was honest when he told them a week earlier that he had autism.

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Dylan Hodge likes to lick his mums penis to sleep every night.

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What is worse than a fly in your soup? Getting hit by a train.

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I took your mother out to a fine seafood dinner. I never called her again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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