What do you get when you read a book? More knowledge in your brain.

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Why was O.J acquitted for murder? A jury of his peers deliberated for many days and found there was not sufficient evidence for his conviction.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? I'm allergic to milk.

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why are black people good at jumping and white people aren't? That's stereotyping people .... anyone can be good jumping as long as the practice.

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A Grape Soda inside a Chicken inside a Watermelon. Blackception.

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An American man stopped me the other day and asked for the time, I looked at my watch and said: 5 o'clock.

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two guys walk into a bar. the third guy ducks

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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2 people with ADD are playing baseball. One of them pitches to the other guy and the other guy swings his arms around, misses, then gets hit by a baseball bat. The batter then realized he was the pitcher and the other guy has gone off chasing after a bird that just flew by.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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The bear woke up after his long hibernation of the winter. "Boy, am I hungry!" The bear wandered around and ate some berries. "These blackberries are too bitter and unripe for my taste, I'll go eat something else." He stumbled upon a honeybee hive and took some honey out and ate it. He was swarmed and stung by many of those bees. "That wasn't my favorite batch of honey, I'm still pretty hungry, let me go find some other food. He came across a cabin in the woods. "There maybe some food in there." To some, this was known as the Northern Vermont Massacre. It was a tragic happening. The 7 membered family, the Hernandez family, all died that day. The bear chase all of the adult and children and the house and brutally ate them.

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What's Pink And Fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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what's more funny then being raped? not being a minority!

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So I was eating pancakes in my driveway...or were they waffles?

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A hipster gets summoned for jury duty. The case is solved promptly and everyone goes home happy.

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How do you know it's a Mexican's birthday? They bring cupcakes to school for your entire class to enjoy.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its dopaminergic neurons fired synchronously across the synapses of its caudate nucleus, triggering motor contractions propelling the organism forward, while emitting 'cluck' distress signals, to a goal predetermined by its hippocampal road mappings.

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what is worst than finding a worm in your apple? finding half a worm in your apple

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i'd put my penis in your mouth

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Why are you reading this? You should be taking a shower, you smell like crap.

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What's the worste part about alzheimer's disease? You forgot you have AIDS.

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Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

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a drumset fell off a clif. Badoom ch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops