Cashier: Have a nice day sir! Grumpy man: Don't tell me what kind of day to have ya fruit!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting cancer from a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a tree? Nailing1 baby to 10 trees

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A kid walks into a bar. The bartender promptly calls child protective services and the child is placed in a caring foster home.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock Knock ... guess nobody's home.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

GAME OVER!!!!!! OF COURSE!!!!!! I BEHELD AS SATAN FELL FROM THE SKY..: LIKE LIGHTNIIIIIIIIIIIING! Street Fighter 2: The (antijoke) Movie. Moral: Raul Julia, you are the man, rest in peace dude you made that movie a masterpiece, do not give this a thumbs up for me, but for the most brilliant performance he ever gave.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was the lemon not feeling well? Because it had lemon aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why did the boy named rylie white get aids Because he had unprotected sex with someone with aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do Ethiopian children do at night? Starve

thumb_up thumb_down +31

When Nicki Minaj wrote her song "Stupid Hoe" she was sublimminally talking about her self.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Who has killed more people than Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, and Jack Kevorkian combined? Mr. Rogers

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A black man trips and falls down. You help him up and ask him if he needs any help. After a brief friendly talk you both continue on your separate ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was the little boy late to church? He was getting raped by the priest. ....the priest was late too.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and therefore could not see well without the help of glasses.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a Jew in Harlem? It depends on what his name is. I advise procuring a polite introduction from a mutual acquaintance.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did the chicken cross the road? i don;t know, that's why i was asking you

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Some people like melon and others like soup.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was the baby ant confused? Because his uncles were ants

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops