Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

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What kind of blue is not heavy? Light blue.

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Who can make 50 iPads in 1 hour? An Asian

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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A kid walks into a bar. The bartender promptly calls child protective services and the child is placed in a caring foster home.

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Why did the chicken eat fried chicken? Because fried chicken is so good! Kelvin Yang.

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Anti jokes gives me cold sores

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Why was the ghost boy sad? He was attending his own funeral.

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What's bigger then a bowling ball? What? Your mom!

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Two generals went for a trip, it went very well in general.

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What did the man say to the really attractive woman? We are different genders

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What's the best way to look 10 pounds thinner? Lose 10 pounds

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there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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Q. why was Martin Luther King assassinated? A. he wasn't his son was

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

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What did the white guy say to the black guy? I used to be black also. My name is Michael.

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whats worse than 9/11? 9/12

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Knock Knock Yes?

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Two men walk into a bar, they weren't looking where they were going.

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A child rides by his mother on his bicycle and says "Look Mom, no hands!" The child doesn't come back, and night falls but he has yet to come home. His mother calls the police and a search begins 2 days later. He is never found is presumed dead.

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how do you get a taco? Buy one!

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Knock Knock Who's There? Robin Robin Who? Robin Williams Whoa, too early bro

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You Know Wats Funny? Jokes....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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