what do you call a man with no legs? disabled.

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A man met a genie that granted him three wishes. I wish I could fly. The genie gave him a plane ticket. No, I want to really fly for real! The genie put him inside a plane. Okay, I wish I was unable to die then! The genie killed him. Moral: Not every story needs to make a fucking sense.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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A dog goes to his food bowl. He eats his dinner.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Do you like flowers NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOW GET ME A COKE! And a pizza

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A horse fell in the mud.

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A man walks in a barn. He lifts his bucket of food and starts feeding his horses.

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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What did the snow flake which could talk say to the other snow flake which could talk None of us are the same.

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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What do you call 12 black doctors in a dark room? 12 black doctors in a dark room.

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whats green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He didnt, he got ran over.

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What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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What just hit my face? The floor

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face!

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roses are red violets are black i hope your chest is not as flat as your back.

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What did the bear say to the mouse? Roar.

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how do you kill a blonde? the way you would kill anyone, here are some examples gun knife noose or orange. wait wtf who kills someone with an orange

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What's black and makes me food? A microwave.

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what did the farmer say to the cowgirl that made her positive that she had a weird laugh? you have a weird laugh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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