Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain. Chuck promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense.

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Yo momma's so fat, her lifespan is probably going to be very short and you will have to bury her soon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The Holocaust.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Luke Futie

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What happened when the black guy looked up his family tree? He discovered long-forgotten relatives who had lived during difficult times for African-Americans in the United States and faced disenfranchisement, extrajudicial killings, and chattel slavery. His sense of racial consciousness and solidarity was thereby reinforced.

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What is red and itchy? Something that itches and it turns red if you itch it to much

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Salad. It's green and so is The Hulk.

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What do Michael Jackson and your family have in common? They're both dead.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock out a window.

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What's the resemblance between a chicken? Its legs are approximately equal, especially the left one.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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A thin man walks into a Grocery Store. He trips, hits his head and is killed instantly. There are several children present and they are scarred for life.

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Jingle bells Batman smells WHERE IS SHE??!!?!?!?

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What's the deal with airline food?

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? Because Johnny's a goldfish.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family!

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What is the best place to get watermelons and fried chicken? A Watermelon grove and a popeyes and/or KFC

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Knock Knock!! Who's There? No one, your being ding dong ditched!

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How do you make a Plumber cry? Kill his family.

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How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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What happened when a Blonde girl and a Ginger man have sex without a condom? The woman gets pregnant and then after about nine months the woman gives birth and the child grows up, when the child is adolescent it is able to reproduce and the process continues again.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at its face.

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops