wanna hear a joke? no.

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Roses are red violets are blue we're stuck together like superglue roses go brown violets go darker cut the crap and the stupid laughter...I just went through a breakup

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Q:What did the ginger get for Christmas? A: A soul...jk,hair dye

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What's worse than a 15 year old getting hit by a car? Adam Johnson

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Why was the little boy late to church? He was getting raped by the priest. ....the priest was late too.

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Shotest joke ever... Your dick.

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Cashier: Have a nice day sir! Grumpy man: Don't tell me what kind of day to have ya fruit!

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What is worse than spending time with in-laws? Nothing.

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

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What did the carrot say when it was thrown out of an airplane? Nothing. It's a carrot.

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I TOOK A STEAMING SHIT ON YOUR MOM

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Chinese drivers.

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What is the difference between a mustache, and a pile of dead babies? Mustaches disgust me.

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Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees - have nothing at all in common.

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A black man trips and falls down. You help him up and ask him if he needs any help. After a brief friendly talk you both continue on your separate ways.

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Whats the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.

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I think people who go to see a psychiatrist need their head examining.

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

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Women's rights

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Why did the chicken eat fried chicken? Because fried chicken is so good! Kelvin Yang.

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A duck walks into a bar.... Animal control is swiftly called and the duck is relocated to a nearby park.

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Ask me if I am a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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