What did the blind man look at when the girl showed him her cleavage ? ... Nothing... He's blind... >_>

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's invisble and smells like bananas? My mailbox.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and mild nudity.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the children in India eat for dinner?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why is it incorrect that the universe will end in 2012? Because profound idiocy doesn't always occur.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a baby in a blender? Child abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the sting ray say to steve irwin? It doesn't matter , steve irwin is dead, dead as a doormat.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

where are the maternaty clothing in walmart???? The C section

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did jack smell smoke in his neighborhood? His house burnt to the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's big, yellow and green? The sun, i was kidding about the green

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A hipster gets summoned for jury duty. The case is solved promptly and everyone goes home happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: What did the nomad get for christmas? A: Most likely nothing because he lives in the middle of nowhere where no stores exist. If anything, he got a sandstorm.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

"Want to hear a joke? Tough."

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's worse than finding a fly in your drink? Gonorrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the black man wear a coat, shirt, pants, and underwear on a rainy day? Because he didn't want to be naked.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

so there was two ducks in a bathtub. one duck says to the other duck, "hey, can you pass me the soap? the other duck says no.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q:Why do people not live forever? A: Because they die dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How much carlins does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead walk into a bar. There is also a woman with black hair standing outside, and the man next to her is bald.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops